Father Alexei Mechev: Memoirs (Part Six)
N.A. Struve
Translated from
ОТЕЦ АЛЕКСЕЙ МЕЧЕВ: Воспоминания, Письма, Проповеди.
Редакция, примечания и предисловие Н. А. Струве.
YMCA-PRESS, ПАРИЖ. 1970.
THE PRIEST: A Reminiscence of Forgiveness Sunday
“And this is His commandment, that we should love one another, as He commanded us.” 1 John 3:23
Forgiveness Sunday.1 The church is overcrowded, making it difficult to breathe, but during the service everyone forgets everything. The Liturgy is over. In the open Royal Doors a priest appears, stops, slowly looks around the crowd, bows his head low, and says sorrowfully: “I will not be with you much longer... Soon, very soon, the Lord will take me from you — me, His unworthy servant...”
Tears well up in his eyes; he quickly wipes them away, raises his head, and gazes for a long time, seemingly into himself, as if reviewing something one more time, checking something again. Then firmly, but somewhat pensively, slowly, as if to himself, he says: “I have never wronged anyone knowingly” — he shakes his head negatively — “I tried to help everyone...” A short pause followed. “And yet, perhaps unknowingly...” — and the priest’s voice trembled, he somehow changed completely, became small and weak — “...perhaps... I may have showed more love to one than to another.” The priest’s voice broke from holding back tears, his head sank lower and lower onto his chest. “Perhaps I was late somewhere with help, didn’t come in time... And maybe...” — he could no longer hold back his tears; he wept — “and maybe I completely overlooked... didn’t come... Forgive me...” His voice became almost inaudible, his breathing labored, he somehow hunched over entirely, as if an enormous weight pressed down on him, and then he said: “Forgive, forgive me, a great sinner.” Perhaps one couldn’t say that he made a bow to the ground2 — no, he seemed to fall, weakened and breathing heavily under the weight of his sins before the people; he fell face down to the ground…
They helped the priest get up; he was barely breathing and wiped his face. But then they handed him the Cross. As if new strength poured into the priest, he took several steps forward quickly, but with extraordinary firmness, like a warrior, blessing everyone with the cross in short but powerful strokes, cutting through the air like a sword. He moved even closer forward, the people drew near to him, separated only by the railing. Standing now, visible to all on the steps of the ambon3 and rising higher than the crowd by more than a head — calm, serious, with downcast eyes, as if only partially present in this world, he now seemed majestic and powerful. The priest silently let several people approach to kiss the Cross, then he took a deep breath and raised his eyes. Quickly and intently he looked over the crowd and, gazing at one of those approaching him, smiled, and after a few moments, with love, rejoicing at something, let him kiss the Cross while blessing him and saying something quietly to him. Those who approached seemed very moved. Hardly anyone could hear what the priest was saying, but even on the faces of those standing far away who could no longer hear anything and could only look at him, joy dawned and smiles appeared. The priest’s joy, like sun rays in drops of water, was reflected in many hearts.
More and more faces approached the Cross and the priest greeted almost everyone differently.
Here he listens sympathetically to a woman who approaches him with tears, quickly turns to the altar and crosses himself, and then tells her something apparently comforting, as the woman stops crying and walking away, prays fervently before an icon. Some he only blessed, to others he seemed to speak calmly, with some he seemed surprised, with others he was strict, at times he seemed not to notice those approaching, even those trying to speak with him, with some he appeared to joke, others he seemed to test gently, but at the sight of certain approaching people his features would cloud with sorrow and suffering.
The expression on the priest’s face changed every minute, and it was evident that his words, smile, look or gesture did not vanish without effect — they resonated in the souls of those approaching, and sometimes noticeably changed their condition, and it seemed the path to the Lord was being prepared; the paths to Him were becoming straight, the valley was being filled, mountains and hills were being made low, crooked places were becoming straight and rough paths smooth...
At times the priest silently let several persons approach the Cross, and his solemn gaze would rise and rest thoughtfully on a “detached observer” standing far away, whose confused mind could not reconcile what he had just seen — the vision of a “great sinner” and his words of repentance, with the extraordinary power of spirit now being revealed.
— X
Part One: https://www.chansonetoiles.com/p/father-alexei-mechev-memoirs-part
Part Two: https://www.chansonetoiles.com/p/father-alexei-mechev-memoirs-part-fa4
Part Three: https://www.chansonetoiles.com/p/father-alexei-mechev-memoirs-part-605
Part Four: https://www.chansonetoiles.com/p/father-alexei-mechev-memoirs-part-a07
Part Five: https://www.chansonetoiles.com/p/father-alexei-mechev-memoirs-part-dfa
Translator’s note: Forgiveness Sunday, also known as Cheesefare Sunday, is the final Sunday before Great Lent in the Orthodox Church (which begins on Clean Monday). It marks the end of the preparatory period and is dedicated to the theme of forgiveness. During the Vespers service, the Rite of Forgiveness takes place, where clergy and laity ask one another for forgiveness as a way to begin Lent with a clean heart and spirit. It emphasizes the teachings of Christ on reconciliation, especially as found in the Gospel reading for the day (Matthew 6:14–21), which stresses the necessity of forgiving others in order to receive forgiveness from God.
Translator’s note: земной поклон, a “bow to the ground,” i.e., a prostration. This is a full prostration where one kneels, touching the floor with one’s forehead — a significant gesture in Orthodox Christian practice. This gesture is frequent during Lenten services but ordinarily is not performed on Sundays due to their character as celebrations of the Resurrection.
Translator’s note: The ambon is a raised platform or area in the Orthodox Church, usually located in front of the sanctuary, from which the Gospel is read, sermons are preached, and certain prayers are offered. It often extends slightly into the nave, symbolizing the connection between the altar and the congregation. The term can also refer specifically to the curved or semicircular portion of the solea (the area in front of the iconostasis) where the priest stands for certain liturgical actions.